the journey begin..

so here it goes..there would never be an ending for it..for me it just beginning.right now..i am concentrating on my future..the love that i need..for the time being..im gonna put on hold first..cause i think i need to give him some space to think what is the best for him..love is not about win or lose..to be in a relationship is all about giving the happiness to the other half and to share the happiness equally.and maybe for both of us,we need time still to reach that stage..i dont blame you really..your past experiences had made you become like this..that is why i understand..so no matter how much we miss each other,i just need you to think what is the best for you..hope the guy could understand..and if we really love each other,i believe fate will let us meet again..kalau ade jodoh tak kemana right..and if our future are stated together..be it..we just go slowly from here..
its hurt to be far from you..but this is what we both need..and ..if we really gonna end up with each other.. that time its fonna be for forever..inshaallah..i never ever want to let you go..but when the time is right..i will be there for you..and for you guys who are reading this..just pray for me to be with him aight..doa tu berkat org kate..:)
anyway..im going to japan next week..ill be going there fro 2 months..scared?of course i am..but then,to think the knowledge im gonna gain is well worth it..thats what i am gonna treasure the most inshaallah..even tho i don't really put my heart in this career line,i believe the experiences that i will gain would bring me benefits in the future.and the money is good too..so theres not much to be complain about..right now im just gonna strive myself to be at the top..and i believe one day i will be successful.i believe if i could overcome any circumstances with the hard way,it will help myself to be stronger...its all with a GOD will..

so it is...

life had been quite hectic for me..just came back from kuching and when i got back to melaka,piled up of assigments that need to be done with..

happy new year everyone!!hopefully this year will bring us much more happiness than before and may us accomplish whatever we're working at..

for me..im still moderate..not to say im not happy and not to say i am blessed too..its all too soon..i just hope the guy im in love with,he would make up his final decision..and hopefully it would be the right one this time..inshaallah..i can only put faith towards us..but i wont let hope to be carried away again cause the last time was really painful..so i learned my lesson..

when she start to forget

i've been neglecting my blog again.life had been really hectic these days..and to accumulate the travel hours that I've been through for the past weeks would be my major reason for not updating my blog..anyway anyhow as Japanese saying,gomen nasai..
so here it comes again,HARI RAYA AIDILADHA..wishing you all well with this festive celebration and hope it would definitely bring the best out from us..inshaallah..
how crazy one can turn out to be just because of love?the question that i had been wondering lately..is it true the more painful it yet to be,the more you stick with it?hurm...sometimes i couldn't understand it myself..the purity of love..how far can one goes?there got to be at certain point when finally u realized u cant do it anymore and you're on the verge of letting it go... right?but i can never let go of this one..i dont know why..no matter how hard i tried to put aside,it keeps on coming back..maybe its fated...i just dont know..herm..the bitter sweetness of love...i just leave it to GOD to decide and if it is meant to be,so it is..
the happiness that im longing for..would it be mine one day?only GOD knows the answer..my emotion..its fluctuating..its a mixed up feeling...i can just have a laugh at myself now..just hope GOD would give me more strength to help me to go through this..the present moment no matter how difficult it is,hopefully i can make it through..
so there it is..a lil updates of my melancholic life...till then..
cheers~

~Till my dream becomes a vision~

hyeee..
finally im in alam,melaka..i've been waiting for this ever since i started working..i got the first assignment already.but it need to be submitted like later on.i might gonna start to do it tonight with my partner.the earlier the better right.being THE ONLY girl in my team out of 15,i had imagine it would be no far from worse and disaster but alhamdulillah it turned out to be well..they seems pretty okie..and im slowly getting comfortable..inshaallah..i choosed this career path so i need to be strong no matter how tough it would be..gambateeekudasai!!
little secret that i need to tell you.im an angel..hahaha..u guys would be shocked if u know what did i do in here..cant believe myself too..:)
owh..they served food 6 times per day..last night i went to the dinner and supper..the supper was quite alright tho but i couldn't digest the dinner food.so starting next week im gonna bring my own food perhaps.its easier that way..not to say im a picky type.im not really.but its like i lost all my appetite automatically..aha.did i mentioned my hostel was next to muslim cemetery.hell yeah its true.and being alone in the room,of course you tend to be scared..however i just remind myself theres nothing to be afraid of except GOD..

to the guy,he would always be the one that im looking for always.that's for sure.the heart never lies.i don't have the chance to tell him that yet.maybe in the future,but until that one sweet day...inshaallah..
pretend that you are alright and this is nothing is really tough for sure..theres no happiness without pain..but life is too short to constantly bring sorrow to the soul..there is still many beautiful thoughts,things,events that could bring much more happiness in my life and yours too..i know that very well.and i cant afford to waste another day glooming myself with pain and sorrow anymore..so slowly im helping myself climbing to the place im heading to..
the light at the end of tunnel is what you're searching for after all and i just started my journey..it is still a long way to go but it would be well worth i believe so..

still all smiles..

despite everything..im still all smiles..my close friends had been wondering how did i get the strength to be like that..me myself havent got any single idea ..maybe because i don't think too much anymore and just go with the flow..or maybe i was born as a sagi..where by nature is like that..anyway..happy belated birthday to myself..:))a year older make u grow wiser as they would say..and yess it is true..we became more matured and slowly we becoming calm in dealing all the matters that keep on bothering us..right?no?
i wish happiness could me mine for years to go.and hope to do well in my career and life.inshaallah..
and he came to celebrate with me..of course im happy enough when he's around but herm....but both of us keen to be friends for the time being..so there's nothing wrong if we celebrated it together right?
someone asked me whether i know the meaning of the happiness..maybe i dont know the true meaning of the words truly but i do know if i im with someone that i love,i want to make him happy cause its the only way my heart would feel content ..that's what im looking for in this life..to be happy with a person that i love..and for that person to be happy with me..what's the purpose to be in a relationship if every single minutes you guys are quarrellings even upon small things.. that's definitely not a healthy relationship right?.but maybe..because of old memories..because of what they had long ago..they stick together..but then..the happiness is not there anymore..well..my point is..i dont want to be like that..i dont want to be with a person just because of the old memories and such..or because the feeling of needed to do so..
anyway..i should be thankful to all my friends...spending time with each one of u was really great..yesterday me with my childhood friends went to sakei sushi..we ate till all of us felt like wanna burst out..haha..but it was all good..and today i celebrated it with my family and my relatives at my aunt's place..and wahlaa.there goes my diet..i need to buckle up cause my tummy doesn't show any sign of slimming down..poor me :((
next week im off to melaka..and i believe i would be very busy from now on wards..which is good because it definitely could help to distract me for a mo..
thanks peeps for the lovely pressies and for being there with me when my mood was swinging like mad..i really appreciate it..
after this..extravaganza focus on work would be my first priority..

~the path of the heart~

if it could be this simple and i can let go all of my expectations no matter how much it hurts then i would be totally fine..my darkest moment as i would picture it,only time would help me to heal the pain..its not that easy to sustain love but it comes without you realizing it..the deep feeling in you heart makes it pound day by day and pheww the feeeling sick in your stomach never seems to go away..yess..it might be some sort of addiction i think..even when you suffered more you seems to hold on it even stronger..funny right?
heart can be so complicated..arghhh..
i guess the question now is how can i live simply again?like years back..when im still carefree..joyous girl who enjoy the beauty of life and doesnt need anyone to make myself happy..
maybe the options that i could have now is to remain positive..and try not to think too much..i believe in fate and faith..and ..there would be still a chance for me to outshine..maybe not now but later on..i still have my career to hold on to..and friends who definitely would be there whenever i need them..so i am blessed..and i still have the friendship..:)

" Life is like a tree. We all start as a seed and tend to follow the same path, yet in the end you never know what branch you will end on."
--- by Joshua Burgess --- Ohio

here we go..

well well..this is not my first blog to tell you the truth..but rite now i just need a new phase where ideally i can freely express my thoughts without hiding anything arduosly..plue im tired of hiding it anyway..hyeee peeps btw..hope everyone's doing well tho..in their life..amin..im not feeling very well lately..my mind keep on saying im alrite but my heart doesnt feel that way..its funny how life are treating you rite now..life is getting complicated even if you are trying hard to make it simpler tho..all i can do now is praying for everything to turn out to be better..inshaallah..